Frustrated

I was really frustrated with myself at the gym today. In 35 min, I only managed to run 5-6 min (1min intervals) between 4.4 & 5 mph, because i felt like puking whenever I ran. I didn't, but the fact I've been trying to build up to running more than 1 min straight for so long and still can't, frustrates the hell outta me. And the thought of only 1 min (or less) between running intervals? makes me wanna puke more, because i'm barely catching my breath by the time one min is up, let alone ready & able to run again.

I ended up breaking down a bit (yay for noisy showers) because I WANT to be able to run 5k in June, at least a goodly portion of it, but I feel like it will NEVER happen, let alone in 3.5 months. I know I should probably be running slower, but it feels so unnatural, and almost easier to run at the higher speeds, but then I can only do shorter amounts of running. Gah.

I'm hoping that when I get a good pair of shoes (next paycheque or so) I might try running outside, and maybe being un/less tied to the clock on the treadmill will help. I'm totally a numbers person though, so this might completely backfire. We'll see. I know the weight wasn't put on in a day and nor will it be taken off in a day, but it's not so much about htat but the fact that I'd let myself get so far gone that I can't even do c25k like a normal person. Boo.